


Frailty Thy Name Is Me

by AlastorGrim



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: And Lemon Demon, BAMF Dib, Camping, Cryptid Hunting, Dib Cannot Handle Affection, Dorks in Love, Fake/Pretend Relationship, General Teenage Delinquency, Ghosts, He Can Make Dick Jokes Though, High School Without The Musical, Multi, Overuse of Melanie Martinez, Pining, Saving People Hunting Things, Tattoos, Torque Is A Bean, Underage Drinking, Vampires, except also not really, except not really, terrible parenting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-23
Updated: 2020-10-13
Packaged: 2021-03-04 17:53:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25290454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlastorGrim/pseuds/AlastorGrim
Summary: What was supposed to be a (rather cruel) prank goes awry in the strangest of ways. But then again, did anyone really think that they could predict Dib Membrane? Now Torque has found himself sucked into a summer full adventure and more monsters than he had ever wanted to see in his lifetime. Oh, and he also got a cute boyfriend. Score.
Relationships: Dib & Zim (Invader Zim), Dib/Torque Smackey
Comments: 8
Kudos: 54





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> *slamming my fists down on the table* Do I have to do EVERYTHING myself?? 😤

"C'mon, Torque! Don't tell me you're _scared_?"

Torque finished his soda and crushed the can in his fist with an unimpressed look on his face. "Scared of what? You? Fuck no."

Kale grinned and flourished his fingers with a raised brow. "Then hold up your end of the bet. You lost us our last game, so now you have to do whatever we say."

Torque rolled his eyes. "One thing, actually. That was the deal." He forked his potatoes into his mouth and brandished his fork at Kale. "And I can take whatever you idiots come up with, so bring it on."

Kale's grin faltered, and his eyes narrowed. He leaned back, then motioned the rest of the team to crowd around him, where he stood looking over Torque's lunch table. Torque usually sat by himself, because this table was directly in the sunlight and kept Ms. Bitters from wandering over to harass him about what a highschool has-been he would turn out to be. That, and chanting about how doomed the world was. He'd had enough of that in his middle school years, thanks.

"So, Torque!" Kale suddenly burst out, looking smug. Torque stuck his spoon into his apple and turned to look at the rest of his teammates headon. "How do you feel about being complicit in a little prank?"

Torque raised an eyebrow. "You know I don't like pranks." 

"Exactly," Kale mused. "It's not a punishment if you like it. Prank it is!" With that, Kale stepped back and let Melvin take the floor. 

"Ready to hear your sentence, Smackey?" Melvin said gleefully.

"Hit me," Torque deadpanned.

Melvin cleared his throat, paused for dramatic effect, and jerked his thumb over his shoulder. "You have to ask out Dib Membrane."

Torque's stomach dropped and he paled. No way--there was _no way_ they knew. He didn't let his gazes linger, he didn't talk about him, he didn't even acknowledge his existence if he didn't have to. There was no way Melvin knew that Torque had been crushing on the Membrane kid since he was twelve. 

He had gone out of his way to keep his own reputation far, far away from Dib Membrane's. No one knew. 

Melvin smiled and rocked back on his heels. "Yeah, tough shit. I wouldn't want to date the freak either, but hey, it's only for a few weeks! You can break up with him before school lets out, as long as it's public and humiliating."

Torque blinked. "You want me to _fake date_ Dib Membrane?"

Kale shoved his way forward again, ecstatic at having finally gotten something to get under Torque's skin. "Then crush his black, freakish little heart into the dirt, yes. Unless you're not up to it?"

"What makes you think he'll even say yes if I ask him?" Torque drawled, heart pounding even as he turned nonchalantly back to his food. He felt too nervous to continue eating, however, so instead he dug his spoon even further into his apple until he'd cleaved it in half.

"Only one way to find out," Melvin sang, grasping Torque's shoulders and spinning him around toward the shadowy corner of the courtyard. "He's over there. Better get on with it before lunch ends."

Scowling, Torque stood and stuffed his hands into his pockets, shoulders hunched. "I hate you guys. This is fucked up."

Nonetheless, he made his way across the courtyard where he could see the faint outline of a person leaning against the wall. His heart thudded in his throat and he swallowed. If he refused to do it, he'd be a flake out. If he told them to pick something else, it would've been infinitely worse.

And yet, at the moment, Torque couldn't think of anything worse than walking up to his overly paranoid crush and asking him out with anything other than complete sincerity. He couldn't tell if he wanted Dib to say no and get it over with, or if he wanted him to say _yes_ , even if it ended with Torque having to end things unfavorably. Even if Torque eventually got the balls to ask him out again, Dib would never want anything to do with him ever again. 

This was going to be a diaster, no matter what way he looked at it.

Hell, maybe that green kid would be with Dib and do that weird thing where he shrieked at people that got too close to them. That was, currently, the best case scenario.

The sunlight gave way to shadow, and Torque could see the faint glow of a lit cigarette where Dib was standing, smoke curling lazily through the stale summer air. As far as Torque knew, they weren't allowed to smoke on school grounds, but the only teacher that either of the Membrane kids gave any sort of deference to was Ms. Bitters, who rarely ventured outside anyway. 

Sucking in a deep, fortifying breath, Torque steeled himself. ' _Here goes nothing_.'

A hand planted itself on the stained, scorched bricks on the courtyard wall, and Dib Membrane glanced up to see Torque Smackey looming over him. He raised an eyebrow, cigarette tucked into the corner of his lips. 

"Can I help you?" Dib drawled after a moment, expectant. He had his arms crossed, that tacky trenchcoat flared out against the bricks behind him. One leg was propped up, the denim of his jeans ripped from his knees to a little ways up his thighs. Beneath the coat, Torque caught a glimpse of the design on his t-shirt, which had a bubbling tube of blue liquid on it and ragged text reading ' **Zydrate Comes In A Little Glass Vial** '. Amber eyes were gazing at Torque from over the rim of those gaudy coke bottle glasses, something black smudged beneath them. Eyeliner?

Torque swallowed. Sweet mother Mary, he couldn't do this. He couldn't do this. He couldn't--

"Wanna go out with me?"

Well. Count on his complete ineptitude in speaking the English language to save the day. Point one for Torque. The worst part was out of the way.

Dib's eyes widened, bewildered even as his cheeks dusted pink. A hand came up and yanked the cigarette from his mouth, smoke spilling haphazardly from his lips as he spluttered, "I--what?"

"Do you want to go out with me? Like, on a date." Torque kept his expression dull even as he felt his cheeks heat in kind. 

' _This is a diaster this is a diaster this is a diaster--_ '

"Oh, I, uh," Dib began, obviously caught off guard. His blush deepened until it dusted the tips of his ears. Torque felt a bone deep urge to bury his face in his hands until he disappeared. Dib averted his eyes, flustered, before his gaze abruptly sharpened and zeroed in on something behind Torque. The blush faded almost as rapidly as it had bloomed, and Dib's eyes snapped back to his, something caustic in them now. A grin that flashed his canines curled his lips as his eyes narrowed. Dib stepped up to Torque and pressed his hand against Torque's chest, head tipped. "Sure," he mused, voice dripping something Torque couldn't place. Dib smiled up at him. "Do you have a place in mind?"

Torque entire brain blue-screened. He said yes? He said yes! Oh God, he said _yes_. Torque swallowed. "The...Inside Scoop? Tomorrow at two?" he ventured warily. "You in?"

' _'You in?' What, are you in a fucking spy movie, you absolute dork--_ '

"Done," Dib replied easily. He retrieved a notepad from one of his coat pockets and scribbled something on one of the pages before tearing it out and tucking it into Torque's jacket pocket. "My number, in case something changes." The bell rang, and Dib stepped back, that odd look still on his face. "See you, Torque." He stubbed out his cigarette and swept towards the school does, disappearing easily into the crowd despite towering over most of the rest of the students.

Torque stood there, staring after Dib Membrane like an idiot, until someone clapped him on the shoulder. He jumped.

"So?" Kale demanded, eyes shining as he grinned. 

Hand fisting around the number in his pocket, Torque pursed his lips. "He said yes."

Kale snorted and Melvin grinned meanly at him. "I'd say sorry, except I'm not. This is gonna be fun. Don't screw it up in the meantime, okay Smackey?"

Torque frowned, jerking his shoulder out of Kale's grip. "Yeah yeah, whatever. I'm going to class now." He left the group and went back over to his table to grab his bookbag before heading inside. Rubbing his thumb absently over the paper in his pocket, he felt his cheeks flush. He felt...excited. Was it wrong to feel excited? To get a small, pleased flutter in his chest at the thought of having gained a date with the guy he'd been crushing on for four years? 

Fuck Kale. Fuck Melvin. Fuck this stupid prank they were trying to pull off. They were assholes. But...they were also popular assholes. As were the rest of his teammates, none of which had protested the idea of playing a prank on Dib Membrane. Torque bit his lip, brow furrowing as he made his way to English. 

He couldn't shrug this off. He couldn't risk it. The coach was under the solid sway of his other teammates, given that their parents could afford to donate to the team and get them new equipment. One word from Kale and Torque would be off the team, no matter how good he was. He could say goodbye to any scholarships and thus college as a whole, because he certainly wouldn't be getting one for anything else and he didn't have the savings to pay for tuition. 

Torque felt the fluttering thing in his chest crash into the soles of his shoes, blackened and burning. He growled softly under his breath as he stalked into Mr. Ivy's classroom, dismayed. 

So, what? He gave up his morales? Pushed aside his discomfort to hurt someone that (probably) didn't deserve it--that he actually _liked_? For money? _Popularity_?

...Apparently.

Torque plugged Dib's number into his phone, shut his phone off completely, and laid his head on his desk.

He needed a damn nap.

•☘️•

Torque woke up at the end of the period to Zita tapping him on the shoulder, the bell ringing not long after. She gave him a searching look, but he just shook his head and stood. He didn't feel like talking about it.

He went through math and gym in a daze, vaguely remembering having slammed someone so hard in dodge ball that he'd had to be taken to the nurse. He had a hard time feeling bad about it. If they didn't want to get hit, they should have moved.

He bit the bullet after the bell rang and texted Dib as he walked out to the bus. 

~~**Hey, it's Torque** ~~

~~**Sup. This is Torq** ~~

~~**Torque here. Just checking** ~~

~~**Hello, this is Torque Smackey** ~~

~~**fgbahdjavsksv** ~~

"Since when is texting so hard," Torque grumbled under his breath, glaring down at his phone as he wracked his brain for something to say that wasn't completely lame or awkward. He sat down, deleting his keysmash as he dumped his bookbag in the floor.

"Who are you angsting over?" came a high voice to his left. Torque jolted and whipped his head around just in time to see Jessica slip into the seat next to him and pluck his phone from his hands.

"Hey," he protested weakly. The name at the top of the thread was just a string of numbers, pixelated and slightly blurry given the small screen. Nothing to give away the recipient of his angst.

Jessica made a disgusted noise and poised her manicured nails over the buttons. "You seriously need to upgrade this piece of junk. Now, what are you trying to do here? I know this isn't the first time a girl has given you her number, so that can't be it."

Not to mention the fact that Jessica quickly hunted those girls down and threatened them until they backed off. She had facades to uphold too, after all.

"No one." Torque averted his eyes to the window as they pulled out of the school parking lot. "Just trying to give someone my number without making it weird."

"Oh." Jessica scrunched up her nose, turning back to the phone to punch something into the bubbled keyboard. "Well that's easy. Aaaand send."

A yelp escaped Torque's lips as he hastily snatched his phone back from her. "What--why would you send it without letting me check first?"

She gave him a shrewd look as he saw the simple, bold **Torque** on his message screen and let out a noise like a deflated balloon. "What? It's short and sweet. It gets the point across without coming out as emotional. Why are you upset? Is it a girl after all? Who?"

"I--not really? It's complicated." He shut his phone off and buried his face in his hands. "Very complicated." The phone buzzed on his leg, but Jessica grabbed it before he could.

She looked over the screen and huffed, raising an eyebrow at him over the case. "I doubt it. Grey's Anatomy is complicated. Chess is complicated. But this?" She flipped the phone around to display a single thumbs up emoji underneath her message. "This doesn't look complicated."

Torque let out a breath and scrubbed a hand over his face. "Just leave it alone, Jess, okay? Leave it alone."

She scowled at him, dropping his phone back into his lap as if it were a dead rat. "Whatever, don't tell me. I'll just ask Kale. Him and Melvin have been snickering like apes all afternoon; I'm sure he knows something."

"Go ask him then," Torque snapped, irritated. "I'm sure he'd _love_ to tell you. But I don't want to talk about it," he gruffed, pocketing his phone and slouching into the seat to stare out the window. 

"Fine!" Jessica barked, hoop earrings jingling as she stood and stormed towards the back of the bus, away from him. 

Torque knocked his head against the glass panel and closed his eyes. He grimaced and shifted so he could press his forehead to the cool pane, his heart thudding harshly against his ribs. 

This was a diaster.


	2. Chapter 2

It was Saturday. Which meant that there was no school, no football practice, and Torque had a date with Dib Membrane at two o'clock. 

He woke up at eight and climbed in the shower, punching the tiles just above the knobs to make the water heater judder to life. Cold water crashed over his head and made him shiver, blinking rapidly as the sharpness of the chill shocked him awake further, searing the last of the sleepiness out of him. The water started to warm around the time he finished washing his hair, which had thickened to the point now that it hung in his face and dripped water in his eyes.

He shivered again as the shower head swiftly turned from spitting ice to hellfire, and hastened his movements until he was hopping out of the shower with soap still dripping from his legs, hissing at the heat. Torque wrapped a towel around he waist with a huff and smacked the knobs down to shut off the water. 

He padded back into his room and tugged the towel over his head as he stood in front of his dresser, trying to figure out what to wear. Normally he got dressed half-blind, pulling on whatever he got his hands on as long as it smelled clean as he made a mad dash to get out of the house for the day. But again, it was Saturday. No school, no work. 

He pulled on some boxers and yanked all his other drawers out, wondering absently if he could just change later if he needed to. Torque ended up just grabbing a pair of cargo shorts and a semi-new gray polo shirt, putting them on as he shut his drawers and scrubbed at his hair with the towel. 

Torque huffed and tossed the towel towards the end of his bed, managing to land it right on the post. Nice. 

A frown tugged at his lips as he caught sight of his Letterman's jacket sitting innocently at the foot of his bed. It made his stomach churn just looking at it. Turning with a shake of his head, Torque grabbed his shoes and sat down to put them on. It was hot enough that he didn't need to wear it anyway. Not outside of school at least. 

He grabbed his wallet and slipped it into one of his pockets. He felt good about today. He had mostly gotten past his angsting phase and was determined to make this count. With luck, Dib might dump him before anything had a chance to go South or Melvin got impatient. Torque was hoping, but...well.

If he only got to be Dib's boyfriend once, he was going to be the best damn boyfriend the world had ever seen.

He nodded to himself, pumped up and ready to go. He was ready. Torque was ready to go on a date. 

A groan gusted out of his lips at the sight of his alarm clock. 

It was only eight thirty.

•☘️•

Torque spent most of the day pacing and eating. He couldn't sit still, and the cereal that he'd poured himself for breakfast sat soggy in its bowl. He took bites periodically as he passed it, scrunching his nose up at the texture, but still eating it. He was so nervous he could barely taste it anyway. 

He tried to watch TV but their cable was shitty and it was hard to focus on anything anyway. Eventually he gave in to his anxiety and texted Dib around twelve. 

**We still on for today?**

The reply wasn't immediate as it had been yesterday. It gave Torque time to panic over his wording and finish the rest of his soggy cereal. Should he cancel? He should cancel. Just tell the guys that Dib had flaked on him and--

His phone buzzed and he lunged over the couch for it, sending the ratty thing skidding across the floor with a screech of wood on wood. Torque fumbled his phone and clicked it on, heart pounding. He sighed.

**Yes.**

Well. That was...reassuring? Torque still felt like he might puke. Lukewarm milk and mushy cheerios didn't help.

Torque left the house at one thirty, even though the ice cream place was only five minutes away. The day was warm and sunny, but with little to no breeze to help it along. There were a few clouds here and there, along with a cluster of fluffy white that Torque might have thought would be future storm clouds if they weren't coming from Membrane Labs. The more he looked, the more they didn't look like clouds. Maybe Dib would know what they were. His dad was the owner, right? Professor Membrane?

All of those thoughts fled when he reached the ice cream place. Torque stepped underneath the overhang and swallowed, clutching his phone in his pocket as he suddenly began to question every life choice he'd ever made. He was disheartened to find that there weren't many, but then again, he was only sixteen. What decisions did he have to make that were life changing?

More importantly, why did _this_ feel like one of them?

Torque looked up at the curly sign blaring 'The Inside Scoop' in red and white letters, a winking, slightly creepy looking ice cream cone staring back at him. He leaned back against the cool concrete of the wall and sighed, thunking his head against it. With nothing else to do but wait, and not quite ready to go inside, Torque pulled out his phone. He'd only just pulled up a random game to kill a few minutes with when he got a text.

**Look up.**

Instinctively, Torque looked straight up, blinking widely as if he'd suddenly develop X-ray vision and be able to see through opaque fabric. A laugh to his left caught his attention, and he whipped his head down to see Dib walking towards him, that odd trenchcoat swinging with his steps and a smirk on his lips. He'd traded out his other tee for one with a pixelized picture of a melting ice cream on it, the words ' ** _Vanilla Is Only Good On Ice Cream_** ' printed above it in white, elegant font. Torque's brow furrowed.

"Not exactly what I meant, but sure," Dib mused as he sidled up beside Torque, hands tucked into his jean pockets as he smiled at him. It was only half genuine. 

There was a tension in the air that Torque didn't really understand. Clearing his throat, Torque glanced down at Dib's shirt then back up at the sign. "You don't like vanilla?"

Dib blinked, the tension dissipating in wake of his surprise. His eyes glimmered with a sudden mischief. "It's fine for ice cream," Dib replied slyly.

Torque frowned a bit, bemused. After a moment, he uttered, "I guess the candles are overrated, yeah."

Amber eyes widened, and then Dib was grinning again, much less sharply this time. He reached up and squished Torque's cheeks together with a chuckle. "Oh, that's cute." Before Torque could ask, or do much else, Dib grabbed his hand and tugged him inside. "C'mon, let's find a table."

"Okay," Torque wheezed out as he was whipped into the ice cream shop and practically slung down at a table. His brain was still a little caught up on the fact that Dib was _holding his hand_ , and it only came back online when Dib dropped him into a chair and tried to take his hand back. And then Torque was just staring dumbly up at Dib as amber eyes looked down at their hands, Torque's freckled fingers clamped tight around Dib's limp ones, bemused. Torque hastily let go, tucking both his hands under his thighs so he wouldn't do something stupid like that again.

Dib was a whirlwind, a hurricane, one that he wanted to drown in. But he couldn't. He couldn't afford to caught up in the storm that was Dib Membrane. At least, not like this.

Dib sat down across from him, still giving him a cautious, confused look. He picked up his menu, black nails tapping at the plastic as he looked it over. "I don't think I've ever been here. What do you normally get when you come here?"

Seizing the out from the awkward air he'd created, Torque snatched up his own menu and grimaced. "Nothing that's actually on the menu, definitely," Torque grumbled, eyeing the very omnious list of flavors. He put it back down with a shrug. "Normally I just ask for one of the base flavors 'in the back'. It's easier than trying to decipher whatever the hell those other ones are."

"Oh, come on, they can't be that bad," Dib hedged, eyes zeroing in on the list and scanning rapidly, eyes widening with every word. "O...kay. Those--" He squinted at the menu with incredulity. "Those _can't_ be real flavors. It's like Tiger's Blood snow cones, right? I mean, 'Horse Flesh' is just a nickname. Right?" He glanced up at Torque with raised eyebrows.

"It's not." Torque grimaced in disgusted remembrance.

Dib abruptly put his menu down and slid it away from himself. "Well then." He shook his head and looked up at Torque through his lashes. He seemed relatively unsurprised with the weird flavors, but in a town like theirs it was kind of hard to be too disturbed by something as tame as bad ice cream. "Sounds like you know what's good. Order for me?"

Anxiety immediately swallowed Torque whole, face going blank as his stomach dropped to the center of the earth. His tongue suddenly felt thick and heavy in his mouth, unable to voice the ' _I'd rather not_ ' that had just jumped to his lips. Because what if he ordered the wrong thing? What if he ordered strawberry and Dib hated strawberries, or worse, was allergic to them? What if he ordered too small of a bowl and Dib thought he was cheap? Or that Torque thought he was _fat_? Which, well, was ludicrous on multiple levels, but--

Torque blinked.

His anxiety vanished almost as abruptly as it had swarmed him, caught and strangled by that same, odd glint in Dib's eyes. It was a bit hard to distinguish, but the quirk to Dib's lips was sardonic and taut. False. This time, Torque recognized it, if only for the addition of that fake smile. That was the look that Dib often gave adults--specifically, the patronizing kind that often swept into the school in white lab coats to give what was supposed to be rousing speech about their _futures_ or whatever. It was the look that said ' _I am both mocking and indulging you, but really, **watch your fucking step**_ '.

Why was he looking at _Torque_ like that? 

Intense though he may be, Dib was not an inherently cruel person. He wouldn't agree to go on a date with Torque for the sole purpose of stabbing him in the back later.

(Torque inwardly winced at the thought, because well damn, that was exactly what _he_ was doing. And Torque wouldn't consider himself inherently cruel either. Needs and the must and all that aside.)

Dib was on guard. That much was clear. And, really, why wouldn't he be? It was just...

Dib's version of 'on guard' was _really fucking weird_.

Torque swallowed and turned to the waiter that had silently appeared at their table and was now smiling stiffly down at them with glazed eyes. "Two fizz floats, please. Uh, extra fizz?" He glanced at Dib, who nodded. "Yeah, extra fizz. One straw," he added hastily when Dib raised an eyebrow at him. Something told him that while the cliched 'one cup two straws' trick wouldn't be appreciated by Dib. 

The waiter tipped their head, emitted a staticky noise that might've been agreement, then rolled away on shoes that definitely had not had wheels five seconds ago. Torque let out a breath and turned back to Dib, whose eyes had dimmed slightly, curious. Rubbing the back of his neck, Torque coughed.

"So, uh, i-it's nice to see you." 

"Is it?"

Aaaand that look was back. Fuck.

"Yeah," Torque answered firmly, straightening. "What are you doing nowadays? Do you still hunt ghosts and stuff?"

"...And stuff," Dib replied after a moment, still frustratingly cautious. "I hunt a bit of everything. Ghosts, vampires, werewolves; you name it, I've probably hunted one." Here he paused, cheeks flushing a bit as he averted his eyes to the table, suddenly sheepish. "Might not have caught all of them, but hey. I do what I can."

"That's okay. It's, er--it's the thought that counts, right?" Torque tried. He didn't really believe in all of the supernatural stuff that Dib did, but he knew from past instances that Dib having his beliefs dismissed did not go over well. Besides, it was interesting stuff even if it wasn't real. Torque wouldn't mind listening to Dib talk about it if he wanted. 

Dib blinked slowly at him. He looked...haunted, all of sudden. "The thought only counts if it takes you one step closer to saving a life."

Silence. 

Torque did not know how to respond to that. So he didn't.

Eventually Dib shook himself and seemingly banished whatever strange trance had just come over him. "Anyway! What about you?"

The abrupt switch of mood slapped Torque in the face, stunning him for a moment before he was able to sputter out, "I was, um, well I mostly--" he interrupted himself to take a deep breath. "I'm kind of focused on football right now? I mean, I'm not really smart or anything, so I have to be good at something or I can kiss college goodbye." 

Shit, that came out way heavier than he intended. Change the subject, change the subject, change the _subject_ \--

"I'm still trying to decide what I want to do after all this, though. I was hoping to get a degree in engineering at some point," Torque finished, drumming his fingers on his thigh, where Dib couldn't see.

"Engineering?" Dib perked up, eyes bright. "I might be able to help with that."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I know my way around spare parts and a set of tools. Kind of have to when I make all my own equipment."

Torque's interest was piqued. "You make your own stuff? Like, what, those ghost cubes and the EMFs and all that?"

Dib nodded, growing a bit more animated. "Spirit boxes, but yeah, you got it mostly right. Sometimes I even make weapons."

"That's really fucking cool," Torque said earnestly, wide-eyed with reverence.

A flush dusted Dib's cheeks, and he blinked owlishly at Torque. He ducked his head and scrubbed a hand over his mouth, ears gone pink, and Torque resisted the intense urge to reach out and brush his fingers along one to see if it'd deepen.

Before Torque could do something stupid, two glasses were dropped down in front of them, sizzling and off-white. The waiter tipped his head way to far, neck sparking, and held out a clawed hand. Torque handed him his debit card without taking his eyes off the drinks. Because, along with the fact that he was pretty sure his glass was cracked, there was just one long stretch of green plastic hooking the two drinks together like a fun house version of a bendy straw. 

The waiter took his card, swiped it through his chest, and then gave it back. Then he rolled away. 

Torque buried his face in his hands and groaned. Dib burst out laughing. Torque groaned louder. "I swear to God, that's not what I meant when I said one straw. I--"

"Torque. T-Torque, it's okay," Dib got out between giggles, gasping for air through his fingers. "H-Here, ha--look." He leaned forward and slipped something purple from his pocket. He flicked his wrist, and an iridescent blade popped forth from it, shimmering in the starch light of the parlor. Taking the straw between two fingers, Dib bent it at the center and sliced his knife cleanly through the neon plastic. He sat back and did a little 'ta-da' motion with his hands before pulling his float towards himself.

Torque sheepishly dragged his own over and took a sip, muttering into the jagged straw, "Sorry, I just--with the whole shake thing, I didn't wanna come off as that guy who watched one romance film from the fucking fifties and suddenly thinks he knows everything--"

"Torque." 

Startled blue eyes looked up to find Dib staring at him oddly. Torque gulped. Slowly, the tension he hadn't noticed before eased out of Dib's shoulders the longer Torque held his gaze. He offered a smile, tight smile.

"It's nothing. We all make mistakes, right?" Dib said easily, going back to his drink.

"R-Right," Torque agreed hurriedly. He leaned back and purposefully looked away from the slick shine of Dib's lips, the neon green contrasting brightly with the pink of his mouth. Scrubbing a hand over his cheek, Torque cleared his throat. "So, you said something about making your own ghost weapons?"

This was, very clearly, the _right_ thing to say. 

Dib perked up, whatever shadow that had swallowed him earlier disappearing completely. He immediately launched into a big spiel that Torque could only half keep up with, but he found that as long as he was willing to ask questions Dib didn't seem to mind explaining things a few times over for him.

"You know that the paranormal doesn't _just_ mean ghosts and demons, right? There's a whole other world of supernatural beings out there, living right under our noses! Of course there's the spirit world, but the beings that reside in the physical realm are even more astonishing. Werewolves, vampires, banshees, ghouls, arachne--things that are supposedly beyond the realm of human possibility. And people are so blind to them! So blind to the things that prey on them, that they see everyday and never recognize and why would they? Predators are masters of camoflague. But there are ways to see through that, ways to become the hunter instead of the hunted. And I don't know about you but I'd rather be...the...hunter..." 

At some point they'd finished their drinks and made their way outside, but from the way Dib looked up and around, startled, it seemed neither of them had any idea how or when. Torque ripped his gaze from the bright and passionate face of Dib Membrane and looked around as well, not recognizing the street they'd wandered onto. 

"When did we get here?" Dib murmured, brow furrowed.

Torque blinked a few times and ran a hand through his hair with a huff. "I don't even remember going outside, man," he admitted with a laugh. He glanced at Dib sheepishly. "I guess we got a little caught up."

"I...guess we did." Dib was staring again. It was a wild, bewildered thing. Uncertain. 

"So, I think we're near the park if you wanna stop and keep talking? It'd be better to sit down again so we don't get lost again," Torque offered, hoping for a yes. He wasn't ready to go home yet. He wasn't ready for this date to end and reality to come crashing back in on him. He was finally getting to spend time with the person he liked and he didn't want to let go of it just yet.

But Dib took a step back, brow cinched and lips pursed. "...Not today. It's kind of late." And Torque knew that was a shitty excuse, because it was only five and the shadows beneath Dib's eyes had always been blacker than midnight, the stains of a perpetual night owl. But then Dib was rubbing the back of his neck and muttering, "Maybe Tuesday, though?"

Torque brightened instantly, and shoved his hands in his pockets so their excited shaking wouldn't give him away. "Tuesday's good."

Dib seemed to deflate a little. He gave Torque a small smile and turned on heel to go in the other direction, presumably towards his house. "See you then."

"See you," Torque echoed, a bit stupidly. He watched Dib spin and walk quickly away, disappearing around an alley corner and into the shadows. A wide, dumb grin stretched his lips, and Torque pressed his palm against them to stifle it. 

_Tuesday_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this isn't betaed but it's 3 am and I'm seein double so have this ye
> 
> Horse Flesh is a real fucking ice cream flavor and I hate that I know that now


End file.
